Thursday, November 1, 2012

The ABC's of the 2012 Presidential Election

So we've heard that Mitt Romney isn't a huge fan of Big Bird, and maybe that means Big Bird is supporting Barack Obama this time around. But I got to thinking that there still might be a large cartoonish animal who helps kids learn to read and supports Romney. Sure enough, I found one.

The ABC's of the 2012 Presidential Election
with apologies to Dr. Seuss

by Rick Hatch


BIG A
little a
What begins with A?
America’s A A A-rating is now just double-A.

BIG B
little b
What begins with B?
How ‘bout Benghazi?

BIG C
little c
What begins with C?
C . . . . c . . . . C

BIG D
little d
double-up
And

A B C D E . . e . . e
e
e
e

BIG F
little f
F . . f . . F
Four more years?
F ! ! !   F ! ! !    F ! ! ! ! !

A B C D
E F G
A gallon of gas
GDP
G . . . g . . . G

BIG H
little h
Hey!
But homeless have hipper healthcare.
Hooray !?
Hooray !?

BIG I
Little i
i . . . . i . . . . i
to Mr. “I …”, “I …”, “I …”.

BIG J
little j
What begins with j?
begin that way.

BIG K
little k
We’re not the KKK.
We don’t all think you’re Kenyan,
but lying ain’t OK.

BIG L
little l
What begins with L?
L . . . . L . . . . L

BIG M
little m
Militant Muslims, normally nice
make movie-maddened mischief
in the moonlight . . .
just ask Rice.

BIG N
little n
What begins with those?
that is never
on the nose.

O is very useful.
You use it when you say:
“Obama’s out of office

A B C D
E F G
H I J K
L M N O . . . . . P
Poverty-promoting
Presidential policies.
With sugar, pretty please.

BIG Q
Little q
What begins with Q?
The quick
quakes of al-Qaeda.
just for you.

BIG R
little r
What begins with R?
Remember Reverend Wright?
So: “Romney’s much too white!”

BIG S
little s
Super Sandy slick
slammed six swing states
so polls may
stick stick stick.

T . . . . . T
t . . . . . . . t
What begins with T?
Team Obama tries
a tired strategy.
Takes to trashing Mitt
on national TV.

BIG U
little u
What begins with U?
and
under-employment, too.

BIG V
little v
compares
voting to virginity.
That’s
very
very sad.

BIG V
little v
Another verse for V!
A very vigorous vote
could make
Paul Ryan our VP.

W . . w . . W
Wisconsin Waterloo?
Washington ain’t
working.
What would Romney do?

X is very useful
if you’re watching
news on Fox.
It also
comes in handy
spelling “Ex-“
and ballot box.

BIG Y
Little y
Y . . . y . . . Y ?
yearn for four more
years, but why?
His first four years were yucky.
“Yes, he needs another try!”

A B C D
E F G . . .

H I J K
L M N O P . . .

Q R S
T U V . . .

W . . X
Y . . and . . . .

Z

BIG Z
little z
What begins with Z?
I do.
I am a
whose vote is
plain to see.

Thanks to my brother Jeff for contributing some incorporated improvements, and to Eric Bolling of “The Five” for inspiring the whole thing with the essence of the “B” verse.
© 2012, Rick Hatch.

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